.Publisher's Note: The complying with is the text of a character coming from Trip Three Leader Frank L. Culbertson (Captain, USN Resigned), reassessing the events of September 11.September 12, 2001 7:34 p.m.I have not composed very much about specifics of this purpose during the month I've been listed here, generally for pair of explanations: the 1st being that there has actually been actually very little bit of opportunity to do that kind of creating, as well as also given that I'm not exactly sure just how relaxed I am discussing notions I share with friends and family with the rest of the world.Properly, clearly the world changed today. What I mention or even do is incredibly small compared to the significance of what took place to our nation today when it was actually struck through ... by whom? Terrorists is all we understand, I guess. Difficult to know at whom to direct our rage and also concern ...I had actually just ended up a number of duties this morning, the best time-consuming being the physical examinations of all team members. In a private conversation adhering to that, the trip cosmetic surgeon informed me they were actually having an incredibly negative day on the ground. I had no concept ...He illustrated the situation to me as ideal he knew it at ~ 0900 CDT. I was actually shocked, at that point frightened. My very first thought was that this wasn't a true talk, that I was still paying attention to among my Tom Clancy tapes. It merely really did not seem achievable on this scale in our country. I could not also picture the details, even before the headlines of more destruction started can be found in.Vladimir dropped in pretty swiftly, noticing that one thing extremely severe was actually being actually discussed. I swayed Michael into the component as well. They were also surprised and stunned. After our company authorized off, I made an effort to detail to Vladimir and Michael as best I could possibly the potential immensity of this particular show of fear in downtown New york and also at the Government. They clearly understood as well as were quite compassionate.I glanced at the World Map on the personal computer to observe where over the world our experts were as well as observed that our company were coming southeast out of Canada and also would certainly be actually overlooking New England in a few minutes. I zipped around the terminal up until I located a window that will offer me a perspective of New York City and also snatched the local video camera. It occurred to become a video camera, and I was looking southern from the window of Michael's log cabin.The smoke cigarettes seemed to possess a strange flower to it at the foundation of the column that was streaming south of the area. After reading through among the news articles our team just received, I believe our experts were actually examining NY around the moment of, or not long after, the crash of the 2nd tower. Exactly how terrible ...I panned the video camera during the East Coastline to the south to view if I could possibly observe every other smoke around Washington, or anywhere else, but nothing showed up.It was actually rather hard to think of job afterwards, though our company possessed some to carry out, however on the following orbit we crossed the US additional south. All 3 people were actually operating 1 or 2 video cameras to make an effort to get perspectives of New york city or Washington. There was haze over Washington, however no specific source can be viewed. Everything appeared awesome coming from a couple of hundred miles away. I can't visualize the awful settings on the ground.Aside from the mental effect of our country being actually tackled and lots of our residents and also possibly some close friends being actually eliminated, the best frustrating feeling being where I am is just one of isolation.Upcoming day ... I presume the fatigue as well as emotional pressure acquired the best of me. I couldn't keep awake as well as remain to write. Today was still tough, yet our team started getting more info, plus our experts had the respect of chatting directly along with the Center Supervisor, Roy Estess, that guaranteed our team that the ground staffs would certainly continue to operate and also guarantee our security, as well as the secure operation of the Station. Our company also talked to our Administrator, Mr. Goldin, who included that the partners in the System are actually all completely dedicated to continuing safe procedures as well as support. These were actually never ever questions for me. I know all these individuals! The ground crews have actually been actually extremely encouraging, really understanding of the effect of the information, as well as have actually made an effort to be as valuable as feasible. They have actually all been actually quite expert and focused though I can not envision the disturbance of the type of updates can be found in and the idea that government buildings may be vulnerable. They never ever missed a beat, even when transferring nerve center. And a team of senior staffs and also good friends provided our company a rather in depth rundown on what was actually known as well as what was actually being carried out in the federal government and also at NASA on Tuesday mid-day, which was extremely useful as well as kind of all of them to perform in the middle of all the distress. The Russian TsUP has actually likewise been actually encouraging and also helpful, attempting to uplink newspaper article when our personal resources were actually unusable, and claiming kind words ...My crewmates have been actually great, as well. They recognize it is actually been a difficult time for me as well as the people on the ground, and they have actually tried to be as even keeled and also practical as feasible. Michael even repaired me my favorite Borscht soup for supper. And also they give me plenty of space to presume when I needed it. They are quite sympathetic as well as naturally outraged at whoever will perform this.I understand plenty of folks in Washington, plenty of folks that travel to DC and New York City, so many who are pilots, that I experienced sure I would receive a minimum of a handful of parts of trouble over the upcoming couple of times. I got the initial one today when I learned that the Captain of the American Airlines jet that struck the Government was Chic Burlingame, a classmate of mine. I encountered Chic during plebe summer season when we remained in the D&B together, as well as our experts had tons of training class with each other. I can not picture what he should of experienced, and now I hear that he might possess increased further than our team can easily even think of by perhaps stopping his aircraft coming from being actually the one to deal with the White Home. What an awful loss, yet I make certain Chic was dealing with bravely to the end. As well as rips don't stream the exact same precede ...It's complicated to define just how it experiences to become the only American completely off the earth each time such as this. The emotion that I need to exist with every one of you, coping with this, assisting in some way, is actually mind-boggling. I know that we are on the limit (or even beyond) of a horrendous shift in the background of the planet. Lots of points will definitely never coincide again after September 11, 2001. Certainly not simply for the 1000s as well as lots of people directly impacted by these horrible acts of violence, yet possibly for everybody. Our company will certainly find our own selves really feeling in a different way concerning loads of things, consisting of possibly space exploration, sadly.It's unpleasant to view smoke pouring from injuries in your very own nation coming from such an excellent point of view. The dichotomy of getting on a space probe committed to strengthening life on the earth and also viewing lifestyle being damaged through such deliberate, horrible actions is jolting to the psyche, despite who you are actually. And also the expertise that whatever will certainly be different than when we launched by the time we land is actually a little bit of disconcerting. I believe in our country and also in our leadership that we will perform everything achievable to better guard her and our households, as well as to carry fair treatment for what has actually been actually done. I possess self-confidence that the great people at NASA will perform whatever necessary to continue our goal safely as well as return our company carefully at the right time. And I skip each one of you quite. I can't exist with you personally, and our experts possess a long way to head to finish our objective, yet be certain that my heart is actually along with you, as well as understand you reside in my petitions.Submissively, Frank.September 14, 2001 10:49 p.m. An update to the final character ... The good news is, it is actually been actually a hectic full week up here. And also to prove that, like our nation, our company are continuing on our desired pathway with organization customarily (as long as possible). Tonight the most up to date enhancement to the station, the Russian Docking Compartment will certainly be actually introduced from Baikonur, Kazakhstan. On Sunday evening (United States opportunity), it will dock with our team, at a port never ever made use of just before on the low point side of the Service Component. This brand-new element will definitely give our company one more spot to dock a Progression or Soyuz and also will definitely offer a large airlock with 2 useable hatches for carrying out EVA's in Russian Orlan suits, which our experts will definitely do a few of prior to we come home.The complication just before in taking care of today was actually inadequate information. The problem now is actually way too much. It arrived at one time when email was rejuvenated, as well as there is actually inadequate time to read all of it! Plus it's also tough to handle all of it at once. However I appreciate obtaining it, and I actually cherish the fantastic letters of help as well as friendship I am receiving.Our team are prospering on board, obtaining our work done, and also speaking about factors. Final night our experts possessed a lengthy dialogue over supper regarding the importance of these occasions, the feasible activities to adhere to, and also what ought to be actually carried out. After dinner, Michael resolved telling me that every e-mail he got from buddies in Russia mentioned especially to inform me just how sorry they were actually that this occurred, extending their condolences, as well as asking just how I was actually carrying out. Vladimir instructed me the Russian word for "acknowledgements" after consulting with the previous CDR, Yuri Usachev, on the phone in Star Area. (Both the Russian and the English words are actually considerably extremely long to pronounce simply.) Really type people.For the last pair of days, the Russian MCC has sufficed to broadcast online shows of radio information about the event and also associated stories, to see to it I was actually effectively educated. Every professional that has actually come on free throw line to talk about an operation or a complication contends some factor prolonged greetings to me along with kind terms. Tonight the Russian capcom informed our company that because of the special day of remembrance in the United States, all day individuals had been actually taking blooms as well as lining all the walls of the US consulate in Moscow, as well as this night they were lighting candles in the street outside the embassy. Just how the world has transformed.People almost everywhere seem to be to identify the senselessness and terror in this attack. And the significant reduction. Moscow has taken care of these sort of issues in the final couple of years with condo and also train battles, so they are as troubled to eliminate this threat as our team are. But all-time low series is actually that there are great people anywhere that want to reside in peace. I read that a youngster talked to, "America is so excellent to various other nations, we constantly assist every person, how can they loathe our company so much?".I wish the instance of participation and trust fund that this space probe and all individuals in the plan display daily are going to at some point motivate the remainder of the world to function the same way. They must!Sadly, our experts will not be taking flight over the United States during the time people are igniting candlesticks. Do not recognize if our company could find that anyway. Our company carried out, nevertheless, find a very uncommon and beautiful attraction a couple of mins ago: the launch of our Docking Compartment on a Soyuz enhancer. We were overtaking it and it appeared concerning 3 moments after its launch coming from Baikonur as the sun attacked our terminal, so it was actually still at night. It appeared like a sizable comet with a directly, broad tail silhouetted versus the dark world beneath. Even with some negative lights for some time as the sun hit our window at a reduced position, I handled some video clip of it as initially our team passed the rocket, and then saw it begin to catch up as it got height and speed. I shot up until primary motor deadline and also enhancer separation occurred just like we moved toward dawn on the Mountain ranges. A remarkable attraction in an extraordinary full week ...Lifestyle takes place, even in space. Our experts are actually here to keep ... Frank.